My name is Isla, and I have chronic depression.

And im tired of being ashamed. I’m tired of having trauma. I’m tired of having to constantly explain myself, why I’m down, why I’m not well, why I’m not coping.

This is a part of my life that’s not going away. This is something I will have to battle for the rest of my life.

It affects every single aspect of my life. It not only affects me mentally, but physically as well. For 6 months last year, I was off sick sometimes twice a month because my physical health was so poor. My doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me, and it was ruled that my depression was most likely causing it. How, you may ask?

Depression robs you of everything good in your life. It stops you from functioning like a ‘normal’ human being. You don’t eat properly, you don’t sleep, or sleep too much, exercise seems impossible, and you live your days almost in a dream, not quite set in reality, but not quite set in darkness.

I’m not the only person going through this. It’s estimated that one in four adults will suffer from mental health issues in their lifetime. And we need to talk about it more.

We need to be in a place where we can say ‘I’m not okay. I need help’ but unfortunately, that can be the hardest thing anyone with mental health issues can do. Because we don’t know what the fuck is happening within our own heads, how is anyone else supposed to understand?

We’re not asking you to understand. We know perfectly well that what we’re experiencing isn’t normal or healthy, but this is our reality, and we can’t get out of it. We just want you to accept that we are not well, and we need help. We don’t need to be told that ‘you just need some fresh air’, ‘you just need to snap out of it’, ‘it’s all in our heads’ because if we knew if these things worked, don’t you think we would do that? I would much rather be able to take a walk every day and be fine, rather than having to take medication with a list of side effects longer than my arm, and which have the potential to make me more depressed, but the reality is that for those who have chronic depression, we need medication to get through our daily lives. We need people around us who we can trust and talk to when our condition flares up and we’re not coping. We need help. And it scares me that sometimes, that help isn’t always there.

What am I trying to achieve by telling you this? I guess that I’m trying to tell you that it’s more common than you think. That millions of people are in the same boat as you. That you’re not alone. That there is help available. That it doesn’t always have to be like this. That anyone can be affected by mental health problems. It does not discriminate, it doesn’t care if you’re rich, poor, black, white, male, female or other. Anyone can have these problems at any point in their life, and we need to be better about being honest and helping each other get through this.

I also want to show you that I am proof that you can still live a good life with mental health issues. You can still hold down a job, you can still have relationships, you can still live a decent life with mental health problems. I can’t say it’s a good life, because quite frankly, I would love to be free of depression but I know that that’s not a reality I’ll be blessed with, and that’s something I’ll have to battle with for life.

And the more honest I am, the easier it is to seek treatment, to manage my condition better, and to basically survive.

My name is Isla, and I have chronic depression. And I’m tired of being ashamed of it. This is me.